Deep Backward Point

Blog against the machine.

Tag: adrian shankar

#ShankarFacts: The Return of Adrian Shankar

If I invented this bit of news (#ShankarFacts!), nobody would have believed it. That is the power of Adrian Shankar. Take it away, George Dobell:

[Rajasthan] Royals management have made enquiries to players in England to learn more about Shankar’s background. The question they asked was: is Shankar a fantastic, untapped talent who has somehow escaped the notice of all English scouts; or is he just an audacious blagger?

You can probably guess the answer they received.

Well, the answer is that he has neither escaped the notice of English scouts, nor is he just an audacious blagger. No, young Adrian is the pre-eminent audacious blagger. If blaggers were to be renamed, they would be called shankars.

And that’s a #ShankarFact.

More #ShankarFacts, while we’re at it:

  1. Adrian Shankar is #trottsfault.
  2. Every time Adrian Shankar sneezes, a Pakistani bowler bowls a no ball.
  3. While Adrian Shankar is on vacation, at least one active Pakistani must remain retired.
  4. Adrian Shankar does not switch-hit. He plays both-handed every ball.
  5. Adrian Shankar’s helicopter shot involves an actual helicopter.
  6. Adrian Shankar is just what the doctor ordered.

In the comments over on Dobell’s story, a gentleman named Darren Barfoot says the following:

I saw Adrian Shankar in the nets the other year at Aigburth for Lancashire and he was smashing the ball all over. I’m not saying he’s anything amazing, I’m not saying he should have made the claims he did, but there’s something there.

Well said, Mr. Barfoot. OR SHOULD I SAY, MR SHANKAR?! Hmmmm?

#ShankarFacts: The Secret Life of Adrian Shankar

A couple of days ago, I began a new Twitter hashtag, #ShankarFacts, to record the mythical, wondrous life of Adrian Shankar.

Who is Adrian Shankar, you ask? He’s a crafty young man who fooled two English counties about his age and background to get in to their teams.

So, taking inspiration from Chuck Norris Facts, here are the top #ShankarFacts that I created on Twitter so far:

  1. Adrian Shankar has batted at all eleven positions. In the same match.
  2. Adrian Shankar said WG Grace was the best batsman he ever played with.
  3. When Adrian Shankar bowls off spin, he has a doosra (2nd), teesra (3rd) and a unteesva (29th).
  4. Adrian Shankar fixes matches. He takes money to win.
  5. Sachin Tendulkar won the World Cup for Adrian Shankar. #forAdrian 
  6. Whichever end Adrian Shankar bowls from is called the Adrian Shankar End. 
  7. When Adrian Shankar bowls leg spin, he has an altavisty and a yahooey, in addition to his googley. 
  8. Adrian Shankar once hit 8 sixes in an over. 
  9. Adrian Shankar was the first wicketkeeper-bowler to captain a side.
  10. When Adrian Shankar hits the ball, it stays hit. #LikeATracerBullet
  11. Adrian Shankar’s wicket is equivalent to a collapse.
And my favorite one that was not written by me, from Howard Gadsby (@sir_velo on Twitter):
@AdrianShankar is a better sitar player than his uncle Ravi #ShankarFacts
And here’s the ultimate, true Adrian Shankar fact from his Lancashire team-mate, Luke Sutton:

Various rumours kept coming back that he was actually three years older than he stated. [He said] straight to my face without a shadow of doubt, was that he had been on a life support machine for the first three years of his life and was therefore physically three years younger than he should be. I challenged him on this and said that surely he grew during the three years on the life support machine. His simply replied ‘No I didn’t’ and walked off.